I think im done with hacker culture, this is my story:

When i was a teenager, i spent much time in front of the computer. As a result, i didn’t have as much interaction with other kids as i should have.

When i was 22, i moved into a city with a hackspace nearby. It was my only entry point for social contact at this time.

Sadly, many of tech people in and around the hacker culture are in the same position as i was, and as a result, conflict ensured. Not due to malice, but just due to people not being able to handle things more gracefully.

Within 3 years, two of my previous friends got kicked out of the local hackspace, most other friends left on their own. At first i tried to organize an group of people that got kicked out or otherwise felt dissatisfied.

This yielded some unexpected fruits - via some ex-hackers i found some group of blue-collar workers that had no business with computers, and i was impressed how much they did get their life together. I put some effort into adapting to them, and i think this has been one of the best happenings of my life.

I learned some resilience, how to shrug words off, how to not care. That my misery is my fault and my responsibility, and that im in charge to fix it. I learned which things are important in life, and which things are just distractions or substitutions for the real thing. And the more i developed, i realized that many hackers, despite being older than me, never made these steps. And that hacker communities are still driven by idealism, hypocritical social justice and anxiety.

I’d like to thank the pot smokers from my hackspace in driving me away, and i’d like to thank Coraline Ada, Drew DeVault and Rich Felker for inspiring me to leave FOSS. You made me get into welding and car mechanics, and so far im really enjoying it.