This is somewhat a wrapped up rant about people i encounter in OSS. The reader is encouraged to understand it as a scratchpad to put some behaviors into words.

If you feel personally offended by anything you read here, please sit back for a second and introspect why you perceive my thoughts as a danger to you.

If you read this and feel like, “oh! Person X is exactly like that!” - good find! Keep it to you.

  • Privileged socioeconomic background: They grew up in a safe family or neighbourhood and were not exposed to daily life social situations with the regular folks. As a result of this, they are quite bad at dealing with social conflicts. Being a single child makes this much worse. Helicopter parents make this much, much worse.

  • Using slurs when disagreeing: This is basically a symptom of the lack of conflict resolution skills. If there is a clash, they see no reason to question their own behavior and instead systematically externalize the fault. In practice this ends up in calling the conflict partner names and making up some reasoning why they are a bad and wrong person - a bigot, a racist, a wokester or whatever is their current boogeyman. The fact that this further escalates the conflict is lost to them.

  • Denying the slurring: In woke media, the term “slur” is only used when referring to ethnophaulisms. As a result of this, their readers mistakenly assume that all slurs are ethnophaulisms, and deny that slurs not being ethnophaulisms are slurs at all. This is a quite convenient misunderstanding, because defaming and denigrating random people as racists or TERFs luckily doesn’t fall under this understanding of slurring. If this paragraph is news to you, you might want to look up what a ‘pejorative’ is.

  • Lack of empathy: This can occur as result of the lack of social exposure before adolescence, but also as a symptom of some autism-spectrum ‘neurodivergence’. They are just not able to put themselves in the shoes of another person. Being unable to consider motives different from their own, they attribute other persons behavior to malice and bad faith. The uncomfortable truth: Everyone considers themselves to be in good faith.

  • Relying on Code of Conducts: Because empathy-based conflict resolution doesn’t work for them, they rely on abstract rulesets instead to determine who is wrong and who is right in a conflict. They are rarely considering that their own behavior in respect of a Code of Conduct, thinking it only affects the “bad people”. They dont understand that in social conflict, each party is considering each other the bad actor, or at least being the one with the ‘wrong’ opinion. This is sorta the essence of what conflict is, and they fail to see that a Code of Conduct doesn’t help at all when mediating.

  • No Chill: Just watch their behavior when they spot a tiny swastika somewhere - they completely freak out and/or throw a tantrum. Sorta as if the appearance of a swastika on a wall is gonna put Auschwitz back into operation. Like, these were big horrors that happened back then, but being able to stay rationally about it is necessary for working out sensible ways to prevent it from happening again. Publicly crying about it will attract people who will make fun of this fragility and draw more swastikas. Not because they like the nazis, but because they want to trigger people.

  • Prudish: They got a huge stick up their ass when it comes to sexual things. C’mon. The 19th century is over. We are all adults now. If you got a partner, this stuff is normal part of your daily life.

  • Ignoring author intent: This is part of the ‘externalizing fault when disagreeing’. Typical line of argument is “its racist even if the author didn’t mean it”. Dude - whats the meaning of a writing if not what the author intended to say? We speak with the intent of expressing ourselves, to express our ideas, thoughts and feelings. There is no other ingredient to the meaning of a expression then the author intention. If they see racism or sexism or whatever in there when it wasn’t meant - they are misunderstanding the writing. If they are insisting on their interpretation, they are misunderstanding the author on purpose.